Well I’m fucked.
Where the fuck are Dean and Sam.
THEY WERE FIRST REPORTED IN THE 80’S (HMM, WHO COULD HAVE REPORTED THAT?)
DESCRIBED AS QUIET CHILDREN WHO APPROACH PEOPLE ALONE IN CARS OR ON THR STREET. ASK TO BE LET IN BECAUSE “THIS WON’T TAKE LONG”
REPORTS OF THESE CHILDREN ARE INCREASING ALL OVER THE U.S.
Jesus. I’m gonna start carrying holy water with me.
WHEN YOU SEE ONE JUST SHOUT CHRISTO OKAY
Casually whispering Christo to every preteen I meet, and spraying them with a spray bottle full of holy water.
And then when they start screaming and crying you open up the Exorcism you conveniently recorded to your phone and play it for them while you laugh.
And then I chuckle at their remains and say to myself, “That didn’t take long” and BAM I WIN.
Then you carry on your day with a mighty feeling of accomplishment only to continue to do it again and again. Becoming the all-mighty child demon slayer.
SOMEONE GET THE MOTHERFUCKING SALT!
also guys i have an exorcism ritual and i know how to bless holy water so if anyone finds a black-eyed kid you come to me and i’ll help you fuck their shit up
also i know how to do devil’s traps so eyah
I think the Winchesters are already on this one:
Seriously, can we start a ‘Supernatural Proof Master Post’ like the one for Doctor Who?
OK SO I’M LITERALLY CRYING. FAKE FBI AGENTS. CHEVROLET IMPALA. HOLY DAMN.
You want to more about this crap? Look up Whitley Strieber. The shit that man has to say will scare the fuck out of you.